The Beginning of Motherhood

It has been six weeks since my little man was born. The first 2 weeks were the roughest. I would cry at the drop of a hat. Having dinner at Outback one night with Mark, I just started crying in the restaurant. I had absolutely no idea why I was crying. I just was. It was worse than Peter coming home at Christmas (the famous Folger's commercial) or the Michelin man braving the weather to save the little Michelin dog. I would cry in the shower, in the car, anywhere, anytime. Life was quite overwhelming at that point. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. When my mother left after being here for 2 weeks, I cried. I don't ever remember crying for my mother like I did that morning. I don't think she realizes how much it meant to have her here.

Now I can say that the sleepless nights, countless feedings and diaper changes, and the constant worry is all worth it. I feel guilty most of the time, because I get little to no time to call and talk to family or friends anymore. There are 4 loads of laundry sitting in my bedroom needing to be folded and put away. They have been there for almost 2 weeks now. Weekends and evenings we eat out or microwave meals because cooking is just not going to happen. Most of any "free" time available is a choice between a bath (such a rare occasion), a nap, or a meal, and usually washing and preparing bottles for the next day wins out over them all. Regardless, this is now my life as I have chosen it. I will reap the rewards far beyond the time when my little man grows up and has his first child.

Here are some new pictures of our little man.